I’ve been meaning to do a photo food log for a while – I meant to do one on Friday, but then I kind of failed at eating – so on Saturday I finally went ahead and did it. The problem I’ve had, typically (I mean that it’s typical I’ve had a problem; the problem itself is atypical), is that both Saturday and yesterday were also very low intake days – what is the matter with me? For three days in a row I just haven’t got hungry – Saturday I had all the right meals in all the right places and still hit about 750 (AND NO EXERCISE, AGAIN), and yesterday I glanced at the clock at 8pm and was like, ‘shit, eating; I should do that’, but I just wasn’t feeling it.
Considering I’ve been constantly ravenous for the last three and a half months while my body was all, ‘WAIT, YOU’RE EATING NOW? I’M HUNGRY. I’M HUNGRY AGAIN. OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER. I’M HUNGRY AGAIN. YAAAAY!’ (yes, my body talks in all-caps, shut up), this is new.
- 2 slices spelt/rye toast w. peanut butter & jam
This is the spelt & rye bread that I’ve been eating for what feels like every meal since Thursday, haha. This in itself is kind of a triumph – I used to buy 52 cal/slice bread; each piece was about the size of my thumbnail. I’ve since graduated to 65 cal/slice bread, which is still about a third of the thickness of regular, but the pieces are at least visible in my hand. Because I have this need to know numbers, slicing off an unregulated loaf is a weirdly big deal for me (though I’m not gonna pretend I didn’t weigh how much I ate). Another big deal? Peanut butter. My old binge food. To have, say, a tsp of pb on toast in the morning and then be done with it is something I hardly thought possible. I thought recovery would always involve the ‘I CAN NEVER BUY PEANUT BUTTER AGAIN’ type approach. But no!
I didn’t actually eat these, but I did make a fresh batch on Saturday morning – they’re ‘frosty no bake glo cakes‘ from Oh She Glows, but I’m not gonna link to the recipe cause I don’t exactly want any visibility for this (very personal) blog. They’re like frozen cookies, almost, but way healthier – made with oats, banana, all bran, 1 tsp of cocoa powder, peanut butter and a tiny bit golden syrup. 100 cals per mini cake, a decent fibre hit, and I love them. So – I did sneak another tsp of pb as I made these, but nothing I wasn’t cool with.
- Lunch: half a can of Suma vegan pea soup (it’s quite a thick soup & quite a small serving, so I made it go further by adding some water) & two slices of spelt/rye bread with Pure soya spread. Wait, you thought I was exaggerating when I said I had to eat this bread for every meal?
- Dinner: my favourite salad. Spinach, 1 tomato, roasted carrot (w. 1-cal oil spray), roasted sweet potato, a squirt of lemon juice, a swirl of ketchup, & a 25g spoonful of houmous. LUSH.
I’m basically living off these salads right now – they’re so easy, and they pack such a lot of vegetables in, and I adore them (it’s the houmous: best thing ever). I suspect they’re the reason my intake isn’t getting high enough, but at the same time I feel very comfortable with them – they’re super satisfying for not too many scary cals.
So that looks like a pretty healthy day, to me, and I’m trying to fix my issues with quantity (two pieces of bread instead of one is a relatively new development). But I’m still frustrated over my intake – I don’t want to force myself to eat, but I’m conscious that my metabolism isn’t gonna fix itself this way. Let’s just see how today goes.