Author Archives: vermillioncity


I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a few days now, but I haven’t wanted to commit to anything. I feel like once I’ve written it down here, that’s it; that’s my decision – whereas elsewhere I can write, … Continue reading

Posted in depression, my story, plan, restricting | Leave a comment

boys & girls.

Truth is, no one’s ever wanted to hold my hand. When I was beautiful, maybe there were people, but there was never anyone for me. But you know what, honest truth: I’m still pretty; I actually am. No one gives … Continue reading

Posted in my story, relationships | Leave a comment

i want to tell you everything.

I’m not getting better. Right now, I’m thinking seriously about phoning the Samaritans, just to talk to someone, because I don’t know what else to do. But I think I’m too scared – it’s Christmas, they must have hundreds of … Continue reading

Posted in depression, my story | Leave a comment

the things of the night.

I know the night is not the same as the day: that all things are different, that the things of the night cannot be explained in the day, because they do not then exist, and the night can be a … Continue reading

Posted in chris colfer, depression, doubts, my story, quotes | Leave a comment


This is horribly un-recovery-friendly, but I miss being thin so much. I’m internet shopping under extreme duress, because my mum wants me to order something that my brother can give me for Christmas, even though I’ve said I don’t mind, … Continue reading

Posted in doubts, my story | Leave a comment

135lb, in gif form.

135lb. Yeah. I ain’t even mad.

Posted in cw, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

daily log

Home! Let’s do the log: 2 x wholemeal toast w. soya spread & cherry jam + green tea wholemeal pitta w. improvised bean salad & lettuce ‘berry delight’ nakd bar home: herb-crusted salmon w. potatoes, spinach & shallot butter sauce … Continue reading

Posted in daily log, Uncategorized | Leave a comment